The Impeachment of the Perfect Mother for Book Week Fraud

handcuff

Once a year, in cities all over Australia, parents are forced to step up and participate in a strange but most fearsome Parenting competition ever, called the Book Week Dress Up Parade. In the most grueling parenting competition ever, they are expected to compete against each other with aluminum foil, toilet roll and cardboard to dress their children up as the best recognized Book characters in the annual parade competition. The stakes increase every year and the current expectation is that the whole outfit is to be made from scratch and still be a worthy of a Jenny Beavan design…

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Unknown Virus Turning Mothers into “Football Hooligans”

hospital

Unknown Virus Affecting Mothers : Experts have issued a warning to all Mothers to Think Twice before attending any of their children’s sporting events. The Tele-Gaffe – The International Mother Health Organisation has issued a warning to all Mothers to think twice before attending any of their children’s sporting events due to a growing threat of the unknown virus which is turning normal mothers into behaving like raging potty mouthed “football hooligans”. “Those mothers considering attending baseball games, basketball games, tennis matches, football matches, soccer matches, swimming races, netball games, cricket matches, rugby matches, athletics races, martial arts competitions or…

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The Care of Tweens and Other Magical Creatures

boy walking

Raising a Tween is serious business about magic, specifically the care of magical creatures and all things childhood magic related and you should not be reading just any old parenting how to manual. Take it from someone who has finished raising two and currently raising one, and still sane enough to speak in English. Creating magic and maintaining the facades of magical creatures roaming a parallel universe was easy when they were babies and toddlers because frankly, they will believe anything you say or show them. They see magic in anything and I mean anything, from your wet snotty sneezes,…

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Chap 32 The Breakfast Porridge Apocalypse School Run

porridge

**This is a chapter from series of running chapters of how newly arrived mum Megan tries to survive the most dangerous place of earth – the school playground ** Well, she ‘tries’, with her Overactive imaginative style!   Darn, the sky was already light and I could hear the morning chirpings, which only meant one thing – I was bloody late for the morning school run. The nippy cold wind was not as cold as the panic, which seized me as I realized that I had left Sean, my partner, in charge of the morning school run for the first…

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ADOPT A BLOGGER!

adopt

The Agent was so disappointed that she did not qualify for any of the Tots100 and Britmums Awards even though many lovely people did try to sneak her in, just because she lived in a different time zone. Why is there so much discrimination against GMTs? It is on her cards to organise a petition and march against time zone discrimination. So in order to be eligible for next year, I am placing an ad in the blogger-verse, well in advance for a UK someone to adopt the Agent, in time for next year, please.   “WANTED : ADOPT A…

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